Saying Yes to Saying No!
You wake up late in a frenzy only to realize your alarm clock was set for 6 PM instead of 6 AM. Your son says he feels like pancakes instead of your pre-planned boiled egg and toast breakfast, you know it will put you even more behind but you say, yes. You finally arrive at work and before you can put your bag down your significant other calls and ask if you would mind researching the most economical tire set for him during your thirty-minute lunch break. It’s your only break during the day, but you say, yes. Your boss says he has selected you to work on his committee adding 2 extra hours to your normal workday. You know you will have to make new arrangements for after-school child care and jeopardize your standing salon appointment time, but you say, yes.
Time after time saying yes when you really should be saying no, seems so important and natural yet, your left feeling drained and unhappy. What's more, it can be detrimental to your wellbeing. Whether it’s our kid's special request, our man’s need to save a couple of bucks or our career growth, everything seems like its too important to say no, yet, doing more than we can manage can cause an imbalance in our lives and at the very worst begin to manifest as different illnesses. Here are 5 ways to start saying Yes to Saying NO!
Have a prepared "No" statement that you have practiced and memorize using a strong but sympathetic voice also adds a strong reason that makes it final say…”Wow, Thanks for always thinking of me but at this time I will not be able to because I already have another engagement.”
Be more candid and practice putting yourself first and people may be shocked because we have been programmed from a young age to say yes! Others will begin to fall in line and have no other choice but to respect your decisions, say….. “I'm glad my passion for this organization is being noticed and that I am being considered for the committee position, however, I will not be able to because my current focus is on balancing my work and family time and those extra hours would place me out of balance with my family.”
Don’t answer on the spot if you're unsure whether it's yes or no and use the time to think about whether the request is something you want to do, say..“Let me think about it and get back to you” ‘I’ve thought about it and No, but thanks.”
Communicate your limits and boundaries with your loved ones and enforce them with no guilt, say… “Son I understand you want pancakes but you may not have them this morning. I pre-plan breakfast so if you want something that takes more time, I need to know the night before or “Honey, I know you want a great deal on tires, however, making calls during my lunch hour when I am eating is very stressful.”
If your family is more important just say so! Guard your time and gain practice, confidence, and strength in saying no. Ultimately you are responsible for your wellbeing. Some people just don't care or respect others' time and will insist on bullying you. These situations require a tough no-nonsense approach and family commitments often stop others in their pursuit, say, “I’ve discussed it with my husband and NO we can’t attend” “No, I have activities with my kids” “No, I help my mother every day at that time”.
Finding balance within yourself will help you live a more balanced life.
